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It’s my birthday so I’m giving you stuff

I mean, it’s either that or sit on the futon and contemplate how many seconds to the grave, and who has time for that? Plus I can’t complain; I’ve got a keyboard to write with, good books to read, and folks like you to play Pac-Man ruboff games with and send me aspic recipes from 1964. I could not ask for more.

So: HERE’S WHAT I GOT. If you’d like to claim any of these, just leave a comment below by midnight tomorrow (8/15/14) or email me at jclillisbooks AT gmail DOT com. Enjoy your gifts, and thanks for being awesome!

Gift #1: E-copy of We Won’t Feel a Thing

I’ve got 5 to give away; comment if you want one!

 

Gift #2: How to Repair a Mechanical Heart mini-poster*

[*THESE ARE GONE ALREADY, SORRY! Hope to have more printed up in the near future; stay tuned!]

I have 3 of these. I’ll personalize yours on the back with 5 secret things you didn’t know about the HTRAMH character of your choice.

 

Gift #3: A copy of the Worst Published Poem in the History of Literature

Mailed to you in the old-fashioned way, like when people used to lick stamps. One sheet of shiny animal stickers included. I will not lick any of them.

 

Gift #4: A vintage copy of People Magazine

It is twenty years old. Sigificantly younger than I am, but still. Contains the only known candid of Joey Lawrence and Naomi Judd, plus hilarious ruminations on why the Kidman-Cruise marriage is such a success.

Gift #5: A tiny orange dinosaur*

[*UPDATE: Bertram has found a home. I may have an octopus to give away at Christmas, if that suits you.]

His name is Bertram. I have only one. If you would like him to come live with you, I will send him in a little jewel box along with a certificate of adoption. Bathtub not included.

That’s all I got, folks. (I wish I could’ve thrown an ipad in the mix, but I eat mac & cheese 3 nights a week, y’know?) Give me a holler to claim your gift, and have a lovely August 14.

Yours very truly,

Me

This Post Has 21 Comments
  1. Okay, I don’t have the self-control to keep from snagging one of the HTRAMH posters.

    Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, my dearest rapscallion, you will always and forever be my favorite go-to for terrible 50s Jell-O recipies.

    1. you got it, Sam! (Just shoot me your address in case I don’t have it. Which character would you like to know 5 secret things about?)

      And THANK YOU for the wishes!

  2. Okay, I don’t have the self-control to keep from snagging one of the HTRAMH posters.

    Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, my dearest rapscallion, you will always and forever be my favorite go-to for terrible 50s Jell-O recipies.

    1. thank you, love! Just send your address to jclillisbooks AT gmail and it’s yours. Let me know which character you want to know 5 secret things about on the back.

  3. Happy birthdayyyyyy 😀

    Oh no, I missed out on the posters 🙁 But does it really matter if there are tiny dinosaurs, e-books and terrible poetry?

    Curiosity killed the cat. That poem. THAT POEM. What could it be XD

    1. you shall soon see!

      Just send me your address at jclillisbooks AT gmail and ’tis yours. Thanks for the bday wishes!

  4. Happy bday!!!

    I would totally love a copy of We Won’t Feel A Thing or a mini poster. The art for that is excellent. Hope u gave a fab day!

    1. yay! The posters are gone for now, but I’ll send you an e-copy of WWFaT right away. (Just shoot me an email to verify Kindle or Nook and confirm your email address.)

      Thanks for the good wishes!

  5. You are the sweetest person, and i might have to steal this idea at my next birthday!

    I am torn between that darling dinosaur and the ebook which sounds amazing…surprise me! 🙂

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

    1. thank you, lady! <3 Just because you're awesome, YOU GET BOTH. Email me at jclillisbooks AT gmail and give me your mailing address, and let me know whether you'd like a Kindle or Nook version of WWFaT. yay!

  6. I can’t say no to an ebook. I have wanted to read it for a long time, so now I can 🙂

    HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!

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